The Wait
by Elizabeth Gordon
Summary: FINISHED Songfic holly centered, rating for depression and suicidal implications


Ok this is a songfic with Holly. It's not sad, not fluffy (No Romance, I repeat No Romance) its more like.cold determination? Yeah. The song is brackish by the group kittie its very good i recomand it :)  
  
Be nice its my first songfic!!! Critisism is GREATLY appreciated, though flames are a bit annoying but yeah know.. :)  
  
Disclaimer :All characters belong to Eoin Colfer.  
  
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***She is not scared to die..***  
  
On the hotshots all you can normally think about is that you might die.  
  
But not for her.  
  
For her it was..liberating.  
  
Soring, Flying, Surfing on the waves of hot air, pulling away just in time..  
  
It was priceless.  
  
Few people liked it..few appreciated the beauty of it.  
  
The ones that did.. had a slightly desperate air about them.  
  
They wouldnt mind death if it came.but they certainly wouldnt make it easy for her to get them.  
  
***The best things in life drive her to cry.***  
  
She hated life.  
  
What made her happy for a moment made her sad for hours, because all she could think about was that it would be over, that it would end.  
  
***Crucify then learn..***  
  
She used her wit as a protection.  
  
Everybody she argued and beat with words or otherwise was just something more between her and the real world.  
  
Another challenge only equalled by death's  
  
***Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense,  
  
you know he can't guide you, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!***  
  
She didnt want friends.  
  
She didnt want to socialise..apart from work she was alone, she liked it that way.  
  
She couldnt deceive and be deceived that way.  
  
She could just be herself.  
  
***Sit and watch me burn..***  
  
She didnt need their help.  
  
She didnt want it either.  
  
It was between her and death. If someone else interfeared it wasnt worth it.  
  
She wouldnt be taken because of someone elses mistake. She worked alone.  
  
***She's led to believe, that it be ok,  
  
look at your face, scarred in dismay,  
  
but times have changed, and so have you..  
  
I think I'd rather crucify then learn***  
  
He'd came back.. he to was fighting against himself.  
  
But she didnt care. She didnt mind. Because he was simply someone else in her way.  
  
***Take so much away from inside you, makes no sence,  
  
you know he can't guide you, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!***  
  
Even if he was like her.. he simply wasnt as important as leaving.  
  
He wasnt worth putting in danger the balance of her fight against life and death.  
  
***I'd like to take you down, and show you  
  
deep inside, my life my inner workin  
  
so smell and lack of inner pride***  
  
She just wanted to hurt him.  
  
To make him feel what it was like.. being so damn depressed and not knowing why.  
  
To show him why she when she was staring into the night, when everything was peaceful, that only then could she allow her eyes to shine with sorrow and determination.  
  
***To touch upon the surface, is not for  
  
what it seems, I take away  
  
my problems, but only in my dreams.***  
  
She wanted to be free..to be alone and to allow herself to feel, to love, to die, but she couldnt.  
  
***Take so much away from inside you, makes no sence,  
  
you know he can't guide you, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!***  
  
She knew he understood her in a way..that he went through the same things.  
  
But she couldnt stand to know that he to could feel her pain.  
  
Because it meant she couldnt be as selfpitying as she was, that she had to keep going a bit more to make sure he got out of it.  
  
***Crucify then learn..***  
  
Then only could she live her final battle.  
  
***Take so much away from inside you, makes no sence,  
  
you know he can't guide you, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!***  
  
Then only could she let him and everybody else she knew go.  
  
***Crucify then learn..***  
  
Then only could she be free.  
  
***Sit and watch me burn ***  
  
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Review? 


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